Posting again
I wonder if you follow this? Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll find out. You should let me know o: But I’ll ask you later on, since I don’t think you do ^^; I guess I came here to say hello. And to thought vomit. And to say sorry a bit. Idk. I guess I’ll start with sorry, since I don’t want to end like stupid and negative and yeah. I’m sorry I’m a downer. I don’t want you to like, refute that though. I’m not…. lacking in self esteem? I guess is the way to put it. I’m not fishing for compliments and I don’t genuinely think I don’t deserve to live and I know I’m kindof a downer, and I’m sorry for that.
BUT
you make me happy. Really, truly happy. So yeah, don’t worry about me being a bitch and complaining about stupid shit and such like that. Hello. Thank you. Thank you so much for always believing in me, and for dealing with me, and for never giving up. Hello. Good evening. With you the sunset never comes, because the stars of your eyes never leave my mind. Hello. Hi. Hola. こんいちは。 Yeah k I’m cool. This is quite the use of my Ritalin LOL but oh well. This is important. Well, it is now. I was originally just going to post something and say hi and how things are good and yeah. But well, now it’s important.
So, yeah. You make me happy :) and I won’t bitch about stupid stuff anymore. I’ll try not to at least. Although, I wish you weren’t so busy all the time :/ but eh, the toils of a senior. I can’t complain ^^; your future is important.
So there’s all that. Sorry I’m bitchy, but I’m only bitchy because I’m stupid, basically ^^;
And I’ve been thinking recently, and I thought about how we just… aren’t working out (LOL fuck that) Being serious, I was thinking about how it seems like half of our conversations boil down to one of us (usually me) being all “I suck :[” and the other trying to comfort and say otherwise. It feels like… a bit much? Not because I don’t wanna “talk about my feelings” and all that, but because I don’t like every night being a pity part (not that it always is, but I think you know what I mean.)
So I’ll be “better”, and by that I mean I won’t be a little bitch (lol.)
I hope to see you soon though :) I know a good thing when I see it, and you’re far from good. You’re far from great. I wish I could meet some alien race that’s been around for 50 billion years that has a language capable of telling you how amazing you are ^^;
So yeah. This was kinda disorganized and ramble-y and stuff, so I guess I’ll tl;dr.
Tl;dr, I am sorry for stuff, but don’t say otherwise. I’m a downer, and I know it, and I HATE it and I won’t be a downer any more. BECAUSE you make me too happy to be a downer ^^; and I miss you, but I can’t complain. I knew you were a senior going in to this, and I knew it’d be a bit…. hard? kindof. not really the right word. but yeah. I think you’ll get it. You’re awesome. k.
ALSO before I go, go on a walk with me this weekend (or before idk lol, but I doubt you’re free until then.) We’ll go explore and talk and stuff :3 and you can bitch about how busy you are :b mkay? mkay. Feels good to get thoughts down.
I’ll talk to you tonight (and probably am right now :b ) <3 mucho la mia stella splendente :3 have a good evening ^^;
